Common sex issues for women

Sex and your wellbeing

Sex is a normal part of life and your overall health. It can include touching, penetration with a penis, fingers or sex toy, and oral sex.

It’s common to have problems with sex at some point. You might feel pain, lose interest or notice something has changed. There’s help and support available when you need it.

Painful sex

Sex shouldn't hurt. Painful sex is common, but it isn't normal. The medical term is dyspareunia.

Pain can happen during arousal, foreplay, penetration, orgasm or after sex. You might feel pain at the opening of your vagina or deeper inside. It can feel like burning, aching, stinging or throbbing.

Causes include:

• vaginal dryness
• muscle spasms or a tight pelvic floor
• skin irritation or conditions like eczema
• infections like thrush or an STI (sexually transmissible infection)
• health conditions like endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, ovarian cysts or fibroids
• bladder infections or bowel issues
• past injuries or surgery
• not enough arousal or lubrication
• emotional stress, trauma or relationship problems.

Ongoing pain can affect your sex life, relationships and confidence.

See your GP or a health professional early for tests and treatment to help you feel better and prevent other problems. You can talk about painful sex at any appointment or as part of a sexual health check. Find out where to get a sexual health check on the Stop the Rise website.

Read more about painful sex for women on the healthdirect website.

Vaginismus

Vaginismus happens when the muscles around your vagina tighten on their own. This can cause pain or make penetration hard or impossible.

It can happen during sex, when using a tampon, or during a pelvic exam. Your GP or a health professional can help you find ways to manage it. They might refer you to a pelvic floor physiotherapist.

Read more about vaginismus on the healthdirect website.

Bleeding after sex

Bleeding after sex isn’t normal. It can happen for many reasons, like infections or changes in the cervix.

If you're bleeding after sex, see your GP or a health professional so they can find out what’s causing it.

Menopause and sex

Menopause can affect your sex life. Lower levels of oestrogen can make the vagina dry or less stretchy, which can cause pain or discomfort.

You might also notice changes in your sex drive, energy levels or how your body responds to touch.

To help you feel more comfortable, you can try:

• vaginal moisturisers
• lubricants
• hormone therapy
• pelvic floor physiotherapy.

Talk to your GP or a health professional about what’s right for you.

Trouble reaching orgasm

Some people have trouble reaching orgasm, even when they feel aroused or are enjoying sex. The medical term is anorgasmia.

It can be caused by:

• hormone changes
• some health conditions, like thyroid problems, stress, anxiety or depression
• painful sex
• some medicines like antidepressants
• alcohol, recreational drugs or smoking
• ageing.

Your GP or a health professional can help find the cause and talk to you about treatment options.

Read more about difficulty reaching orgasm on the healthdirect website.

Changes to your sex drive

It’s normal for your sex drive (libido) to change over time. Stress, tiredness, illness, hormone changes or problems in your relationship can all play a part. Pain, fear or past trauma may also lower your interest in sex.

Your GP or a health professional can help you understand what’s affecting your libido and offer support or treatment.

Read more about loss of female libido on the healthdirect website.

Emotional effects

Sexual issues can affect how you feel about yourself and your relationships. You might feel frustrated, worried, or less interested in sex. It’s normal to feel this way, especially if sex has become painful or stressful.

Sex doesn’t always have to include penetration. Kissing, touching and other forms of closeness can help you feel connected.

Talking to your partner about what you're experiencing can help lower stress and improve intimacy. You don’t have to go through it alone. You can also speak to your GP or a health professional, who may suggest support from a counsellor or psychologist.

Trauma, fear and anxiety

Trauma, anxiety or ongoing stress can cause pain during sex, even when there’s no physical injury. Fear and distress can also reduce interest in sex, make it less satisfying, and harder to reach orgasm.

These can be due to:

• sexual assault
• domestic and family violence.

Domestic violence isn’t always physical — it can include coercive, controlling or emotionally harmful behaviour. It can also cause emotional and physical changes that affect sexual wellbeing.

Helplines and support

Free and confidential helplines and support services for domestic and family violence and sexual assault.

Domestic violence helplines

DVConnect - Queensland domestic violence helpline
Ph: 1800 811 811

1800RESPECT
Ph: 1800 737 732
Text: 0458 737 732

Sexual assault support

If you've been sexually assaulted recently or in the past, we have helplines and support services across Queensland.

Talking to a health professional about sex

See a health professional if sex is painful, uncomfortable or worrying. It’s a common topic, and they're there to help, not judge. Your appointment is confidential.

You could start by saying:

• I’m having pain or discomfort during sex
• I’ve lost interest in sex and want to talk about it
• I’ve noticed something feels different.

To help you feel more comfortable you can:

• ask for a longer appointment
• write down your concerns before you go
• take someone you trust with you
• ask for a female GP or health professional if that helps
• ask questions if you don't understand something.

You can find services, including GPs and other health professionals, that offer sexual health checks on the Stop the Rise website. You can also talk about sex issues during a general appointment.