Supporting parents during and after pregnancy

Knowing when someone needs support

All parents need a little help at times. But if someone you know doesn't seem like themselves, they may need more care and support.

You can make a difference by:

• spending time together and having a chat
• offering to help with things they need, like shopping, cleaning or laundry
• encouraging them talk to a health professional or someone they trust.

You might see signs that someone needs more support, but it’s not always easy to tell. The best way to know if someone needs help is to ask.

Starting the conversation

Finding out how someone is feeling can help you understand what support they need.

You can use gentle questions to get them talking, like:

• How are you coping?
• What's worrying you right now?
• What do you think might help right now?
• Can you tell me more about how you've been feeling?

Using open ended questions that start with words like 'how', 'what', 'when', 'where' or 'why' can help people express their thoughts and feelings.

It’s also okay if they don’t want to talk. They may share more the next time you see them. Many parents say it helps just knowing there’s someone who can listen.

Offering support

Support might look different for everyone. It might mean having a conversation, caring for someone's emotions, or offering practical help.

Getting emotional support can help someone feel less alone when they're dealing with emotional challenges. Try to listen without any judgement. If you’re unsure what to say, you can just ask, 'what would help most right now?'. A short text message, smile, hug, kind look or gesture can also show someone you care. You don’t need to try and fix everything. Just knowing you understand their feelings will help them feel supported.

You can make it easier for someone to accept support by offering specific help, such as:

• bringing around meals or groceries
• helping with laundry or cleaning
• going to appointments with them
• holding the baby while they shower or sleep
• looking after other children if they have them
• walking the dog or caring for a pet
• hanging out and doing nothing – you might watch TV together, chat or play a game.

It’s okay if they say no. Let them know you’ll check again soon in case things change.

Listening to what someone is asking for can help them feel even more supported.

When to encourage professional help

There can be lots of emotional challenges when adjusting to pregnancy or a new baby. If someone is having more bad days than good, or feeling low for more than a couple of weeks, they might need to see a health professional.

There are lots of options for professional support, but seeing a GP is often the first step to getting the right care. They can give advice and offer further treatment and care, if they need it. If it's hard to see a GP, they can also call 13 HEALTH (13 43 25 84) and talk to a nurse about what's happening. You can support them by offering to go with them to any appointments or staying with them while they're on the call.

If someone you know would like more support, you can help them find a support service in our service directory.

Pregnant and new parents can also call the ForWhen helpline on 1300 24 23 22, Monday to Friday from 9 am to 4:30 pm. ForWhen supports expecting and new parents that are struggling with emotional and other challenges associated with becoming a parent.

We have information that can help parents understand their emotional and mental wellbeing during pregnancy and parenting.

The Dear Mind website explains how to improve mental wellbeing and has practical ways to help someone get started.

In a crisis or emergency

If someone you know is having thoughts about harming themself or their baby, or if they seem unable to cope, call:

• Triple Zero (000)
• 13YARN (13 92 76)
• Lifeline (13 11 14)
• Suicide Call Back (1300 659 467)
• 1300 MH CALL (1300 642 255).