Teaching consent to children and young people
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Children begin learning about consent long before they understand the word itself—everyday moments help shape a child’s understanding of respect and personal boundaries.
Early conversations about consent also play an important role in preventing domestic, family and sexual violence (DFSV). When children learn about respect, autonomy and listening to others from a young age, they build the foundations for safe, healthy relationships throughout their lives.
Supporting children to learn about consent early helps them:
- understand their rights
- recognise respectful behaviour
- build confidence in expressing their needs, preferences and boundaries
- develop the skills to stay safe as they grow.
Consent education supports:
- body autonomy—understanding that ‘my body belongs to me’
- respect—recognising and acknowledging other people’s boundaries
- safety—knowing when something doesn’t feel right and who to talk to
- healthy relationships—communicating clearly, respecting others and listening to their views and boundaries.
Tips for starting conversations
Children learn best through repetition, everyday experiences and the behaviour adults model. Conversations about consent, respect and body autonomy don’t need to be complicated or to be big “sit-down talks”. Small, simple messages over time help children build confidence and understand their rights and responsibilities.
Some practical ways to start conversations are:
- using everyday situations—sharing toys, playing with friends, greeting family members, and making choices about their own bodies—to model respectful communication and respect for boundaries
- asking permission before physical contact to support body autonomy—use questions like ‘Would you like a hug?’ or ‘Is it okay if I sit next to you?’ to help children understand choice
- explaining your own actions so children can see respectful decision-making in practice—this could look like ‘I’m going to ask first so I know you’re comfortable’
- encouraging children to express their preferences, like choosing whether to keep playing or to take a break
- reinforcing boundary-setting by acknowledging and respecting when a child speaks up about what they do or don’t want
- using simple language—such as ‘we ask first’, ‘we listen’, ‘we stop when someone tells us they do not want something’—to explain consent in ways children can easily understand
- keeping conversations short but regular so children build understanding over time
- creating a safe environment where children feel comfortable asking questions, even tricky questions about uncomfortable topics.
Visit the National Office for Child Safety website to find tips for starting conversations.
Feeling comfortable and ready to have conversations
Feeling prepared makes conversations about consent more natural and effective. Children and young people benefit when adults approach these topics calmly, confidently and with clear intentions.
Taking time to prepare helps you communicate in ways that feel safe, supportive and age appropriate.
Before starting conversations consider:
- what information and messages you want to share
- what language feels natural and appropriate for the children or young person
- the everyday moments where conversations can happen naturally (the drive to school, at the dinner table, etc)
- how you’ll respond if the child asks tricky or unexpected questions
- what support you might need and what resources you can use to guide the conversation and help you feel more confident.
The National Office for Child Safety has further resources to support parents and caregivers to teach children and young people about consent, respect, body autonomy and child sexual abuse.
Age-appropriate conversations
Children and young people build their understanding of consent over time, and the messages will change as they grow. What feels meaningful or important to a preschooler will be different to what an older child, or a teenager, needs to hear.
Tailoring conversations to a child’s stage of development helps ensure the important messages are clear, supportive and relevant to their life experience.
It’s important not to pressure children to show physical affection if they do not want to, as this can undermine their sense of body autonomy. Make sure they—and their family members—know it is okay if they don’t want to hug or kiss them.
Children aged 3 to 5 years are learning independence, emotions and how to interact with others. This is the best time to introduce simple, clear and foundational messages about respect and body autonomy.
Types of messaging that work well with this age group include:
- your body belongs to you
- you can say yes or no to hugs, touches and tickling
- we ask before touching someone else, and they should ask before touching us
- it’s okay to change your mind
- our feelings help us recognise when something doesn’t feel right
- it is important to tell someone you trust when you feel unsafe, or when things “don’t feel right”.
Practical ways to teach these principles to children
- Ask permission during play—‘Can I have that toy please?’.
- Talk about feelings and what different situations might feel like.
- Explain that secrets about bodies are not okay and that children should always tell a trusted adult if someone asks them to keep a secret about their bodies.
- Talk about situations where trusted adults may need help with health care or personal care, such as doctors, nurses or paid carers. Let children know they can always speak up or tell a trusted adult if something makes them feel “bad” or “uncomfortable”.
- Praise children when they speak up about what they want or do not want (their personal boundaries).
- Talk about how trusted, safe adults are always there to help.
Children aged 6 to 12 years are building stronger friendships, learning about fairness and developing a clearer understanding of personal boundaries and body autonomy. They can understand more about consent in different situations (physically and online).
Children in this age group can benefit from messages like:
- not assuming consent because someone didn't refuse
- consent applies to touch, belongings and personal space
- everyone has the right to feel safe and comfortable
- respect other people’s decisions and boundaries, even during games or when playing
- consent is about checking in and listening to what the other person tells you
- digital consent matters too—never share someone else's photo, video or personal information without their permission
- sharing or requesting intimate or sexual images can be harmful and may be illegal.
Practical ways to teach these principles to children
- Roleplay asking for permission and responding respectfully.
- Talk through situations where someone might feel pressured and unsure, and how they can respectfully reinforce their personal boundaries.
- Encourage children to speak to a trusted adult if something doesn’t feel right.
- Discuss online behaviour and why permission is important before sharing anything.
- Reinforce empathy by asking questions like ‘And how do you think that made the other person feel?’.
Young people aged 13+ are becoming more autonomous and independent, and navigating peer influence. They need clear, honest information about consent, respect and personal boundaries—including online and social situations.
Queensland has an affirmative model of consent and it is important they understand what this means for all sexual activity:
- consent must be freely and voluntarily agreed to, and be clear, mutual and ongoing
- silence, uncertainty or pressure do not equal consent
- everyone has the right to feel safe in relationships, friendships and social situations
- alcohol and drugs affect a person’s ability to give or communicate consent
- digital consent matters—never share someone else's photo, video or personal information without their permission
- sharing, requesting or distributing intimate images can be harmful and may be illegal.
Practical ways to teach these principles to teens
- Discuss real-life scenarios and ask what respectful choices look like.
- Encourage young people to check in with others—‘Are you okay with this?’.
- Discuss peer pressure and how to recognise unsafe situations.
- Reinforce that they can speak to you or another trusted adult if something doesn’t feel right.
- Support them to think critically about media, gender stereotypes and online behaviour.
Responding to tricky questions and difficult conversations
When talking about consent, respect and body autonomy, children and young people may ask unexpected, uncomfortable or confronting questions. It is important to stay calm, open and non-judgemental to maintain trust and help children and young people feel safe talking to you about these topics.
If you’re asked a tricky question, there are a few different ways you can respond:
- pause before answering to gather your thoughts
- ask what they already know, to understand their perspective
- use clear, factual language when responding
- validate their feelings and reassure them that questions are always welcome, and that there is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.
Most importantly, if you don’t know the answer, offer to find the information together so you can both learn. Understanding sexual consent is a great starting point.
What to do if a child discloses sexual abuse
If a child discloses sexual abuse, stay calm, listen carefully, reassure them they have done the right thing by telling you, and avoid asking lots of questions. Focus on their immediate safety and wellbeing.
You must report disclosures of sexual abuse against a child. All adults in Queensland are legally required to report sexual offences against children to police and failure to report sexual offending against a child is a crime. If you believe a child is in immediate danger or in a life-threatening situation, phone Triple Zero (000) and ask for the police. Otherwise, you can report an offence against a child by contacting Policelink on 131 444. Find other options for reporting child abuse.
Queensland’s Reportable Conduct Scheme commenced on 1 July 2026 and aims to improve how organisations respond to and manage allegations and concerns about inappropriate behaviour towards children. An overview of the scheme and what organisations are required to do to implement and manage reports of abuse can be found on the Queensland Family and Child Commission website.
Looking after your wellbeing
Supporting children and young people through conversations about consent, respect and body autonomy can be emotionally challenging and can bring up strong emotions. It’s normal for adults to feel unsure, overwhelmed or reflective—especially if these topics connect with personal experiences of DFSV.
Taking care of your wellbeing helps you feel grounded, confident and better able to support the children and young people in your life.
Ways to look after yourself include:
- reflecting on your own experiences, values and comfort levels before starting conversations
- talking to someone you trust if the topic brings up challenging feelings
- taking care of yourself by pausing and seeking support when needed, while continuing to provide a safe and supportive space for children and young people to talk
- accessing professional support if you feel overwhelmed or unsure where to start
- using reliable resources to guide your conversations and help reduce the pressure of having the conversations.
Free and confidential support is available for all Queenslanders impacted by DFSV.