Suicide

Talking about suicide isn't easy. It is one of those topics that can make people feel uncomfortable and uncertain about what to say or do.

People who have experienced thoughts of, or who have attempted suicide may feel guilty, embarrassed or just feel that it is private and no one else's business. Other people who have lost someone to suicide may feel angry, upset or be grieving and also find it difficult to discuss.

Even though it's difficult, it's important to talk about suicide to help understand what to do if it affects your life — whether this is by feeling suicidal, being exposed to suicide through the media, or knowing someone who has taken their own life, or knowing someone who is talking about taking their own life.

Why do people think about suicide?

As a young person, there can be many pressures and challenges in life such as:

• fitting in at school
• conforming to family and social expectations
• becoming more independent
• feeling comfortable with sexuality.

Most young people get through the ups and downs of this time of change without contemplating suicide. For others, it can feel overwhelming and at times unbearable. Many young people will have thoughts about not being able to cope with life, and for some, this may involve fleeting thoughts of wanting to give up or die. For example:

• I am worthless or no good.
• Things always go wrong and will never get better.
• Everyone hates me.
• I don't belong.
• I just want it all to end.

Usually, these thoughts arise from challenging events or when we feel we don’t have the ability to cope with what's going on. Sometimes, these sorts of feelings and thoughts can go on for a long period of time and wear down someone’s sense of worth and ability to cope. Regardless of the trigger, thoughts of suicide are serious, and can be very persistent and intrusive.

Important things to know about suicide

Understanding what factors may increase the risk of suicide can be really useful, especially if you may be having suicidal thoughts. It's important to remember that many people experience difficult issues in life but never feel suicidal.

Some factors linked with greater risk of suicide include:

• having a psychological disorder like depression, bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia
• feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness
• feelings of agitation, distress and irritability
• a previous suicide attempt
• family history of depression
• family history of suicide or suicidal behaviour
• physical, emotional or sexual abuse
• lack of support networks and friends/poor relationships with others
• bullying and gossip.

Warning signs

There are often warning signs that someone may be at risk of suicide, but they can sometimes go unnoticed. While these signs can help alert you that there may be a problem, it doesn't always mean that someone is suicidal. Signs may include:

• talking about death or suicide
• drawing or painting pictures about death or suicide
• self-harming behaviour
• not enjoying things that are usually enjoyed
• feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless
• dramatic weight fluctuations in any direction
• using drugs or alcohol
• crying a lot
• making statements to friends or family like
  • ’Things would be better if I wasn't around.‘
  • ’I'd be better off dead.‘
  • ’I won't be a problem for you much longer.’
  • ’Nothing matters.‘
• giving special things away
• writing notes or letters to loved ones
• starting to look up information or develop a plan about how to suicide

What to do if you are feeling suicidal

Suicide is preventable and help is always available. Remember, having suicidal thoughts are just that—suicidal thoughts. While they can be difficult to manage they do not need to be acted on.

Suicidal thoughts and feelings can occur for a short period of time and may be triggered by something we don't know how to cope with, or if we are just feeling particularly vulnerable.

If you’re feeling suicidal, it is often not the best time to be trying to 'solve' your problem. That may sound strange but often the difficulties are really complicated and you need your brain to be working at its full capacity. Remember, just like every other part of your body, your brain will function best when it is rested and when you have been eating properly and generally taking care of yourself. The first step in dealing with feeling suicidal is to look after you. One way of doing this is to set up a plan to help you stay safe.

Setting up a safety plan

By developing a safety plan, you can learn ways to look after yourself if you’re experiencing distressing and painful thoughts and feelings. A safety plan is only a short-term solution but it can help you gain some control over your thoughts and feelings, so you can work out what the best option is for you.

A safety plan is a plan that helps you feel safer, a reminder of things to refrain from doing and a list of places or people you can call on if things don't start to feel any better.

1. Talk to someone.
2. Come up with a list of distractions.
3. Make a list of things that you should refrain from that may place you in a more dangerous situation.

Learn more about safety plans.

Helping friends who may be thinking or talking about suicide

If you’re worried about a friend who you think might be suicidal, it is important to know there are ways you can help.

It’s very important to tell someone who can help your friend stay safe. It is a lot of pressure to take on the responsibility of trying to stop a friend from attempting suicide.

Your friend may ask you to keep it a secret. This may be because they are scared of someone finding out and/or they are frightened about the feelings they are having This may cause conflict, however, it is better that someone else knows rather than leaving them to deal with this alone.

When people are feeling suicidal they will usually need support from professionals and family, such as GPs, counsellors, teachers, school counsellors, principals, parents and/or other adults that can be trusted.

If your friend doesn’t want to see someone about how they feel:

• choose a good time to talk with them (don't confront them in front of others, choose a time where you’re both relaxed)
• acknowledge how they are feeling
• keep encouraging them and build them up
• encourage them to seek help
• offer to go with them when they seek help
• don't give up!

If your friend doesn't want to talk with someone face to face, encourage them to contact Kids Helpline.

You also need to look after yourself. If you need to talk, get support from family, close friends and/or counselling services like Kids Helpline.

Impact of suicide

If a person follows through with their suicidal plans, it’s important to know that no-one is to blame. As much as you may have tried to help someone, sometimes no matter how hard we try, those we love and care about still act on their feelings and end their lives. For people who are left behind after someone suicides, a wide variety of emotional and physical symptoms can occur.

Common emotional symptoms include:

• anger
• guilt
• sadness
• shame
• helplessness.

Common physical symptoms may include:

• pain
• stomach upset
• lack of energy
• appetite changes
• problems with sleeping.

These emotional and physical reactions are quite normal. However, when you have experienced a loss through suicide it is important to seek support through family and friends. It can also be useful to seek counselling. This will provide you with the opportunity to share how you are feeling with someone who is trained to help.

Where to get help

It is important to know that there is help and support for anyone who is feeling or thinking about suicide. If you need to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts or anything else, you can phone Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, 24 hours, 7 days a week or use their web or email counselling service.

More information on suicide is available from:

• Suicide Call Back Service 24/7
• Reach Out
• Headspace
• Youthbeyondblue
• Black Dog Institute
• Compassionate Friends Queensland
• Lifeline
• Salvation Army
• HealthInsite
• suicide fact sheet