Sexual abuse
You have a right to safety, respect, and a life free of harm from others.
Unfortunately, this does not always happen and lives are affected by the experience of abuse, including sexual abuse.
If you have experienced sexual abuse, the first thing to know is that you are not alone.
What is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse happens when someone uses your body or their own in a sexual way when you don't agree to it or when you were too young to make a choice.
Sexual abuse can happen to both boys and girls and can include things like:
- unwanted touching or kissing
- being pressured or forced to do sexual things
- being pressured or forced to do sexual things to someone else's body
- being photographed without some of your clothes on
- being shown images or video of a sexual nature in magazines or movies, or on a mobile phone or computer
- being pressured into sexual activities over the net
- being sent obscene emails, voice or text messages.
The main thing to know is that none of these things are OK.
Feelings
If you’ve been abused you’re likely to be experiencing a lot of different feelings, such as shock, confusion, shame, anger or fear. Sometimes, people who have been abused can even blame themselves for what happened. These feelings can make it very difficult to talk about what's been going on.
You may also feel confused as abusers are often people you know. You may have known them for a long time, even like them, be related to them and used to trust them. This makes it especially difficult to tell someone about the abuse, particularly if you feel people may not believe that this person could do something like that.
If something like this has happened to you, you may not be sure whether it was sexual abuse. If any of the below things happened to you, it's a good idea to talk to an adult you trust.
Secrets
There are a number of ways abusers try to make sure you don't tell anyone about what they have done, including:
- abusing in secret
- telling you not to tell anyone
- telling you that it's your 'special secret'
- threatening you or someone you care about if you told anyone
- telling you it was your fault and that you wanted it to happen
- telling you no-one will believe you even if you told them about the abuse
- telling you it was a 'game'
- giving you presents before or after the abuse
- telling you it was a special relationship.
If the person is making you keep what they are doing a secret, they probably know that if no-one knows, they won't be stopped. They may try to do it again to you or to someone else.
Sexual abuse—what to do
If you’ve experienced sexual abuse, or you have any doubts or concerns about any sexual experience, then it's important to talk to a trusted adult and/or a counsellor.
Remember, your body is yours, and:
- you have a right to be in control of who sees it and who touches it
- you have a right to feel safe—at all times
- you deserve respect.
If you are being, or have been sexually abused:
- don't blame yourself—it is not your fault
- tell an adult you trust, and keep doing so until someone listens and offers to help you.
Helpful resources
Getting help
Kids Helpline counsellors can offer you a safe place to tell your story at your own pace. They will listen, believe you and offer support and help to keep you safe. If you need to talk to someone you can phone Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, or use their web counselling or email counselling services.
