Same sex relationships
A lot of young people have difficulty working out who they are and where they fit in with the world around them. For some, this time can be even more stressful when they start comparing themselves to their friends and realise that they are attracted to different types of people.
What is sexuality?
As a young person, you will be figuring out lots of things, including your sexuality. Sexuality is about who you are attracted to - you might like guys, girls or both.
Although it might feel stressful, this curiosity about your sexuality can be seen as something new to discover about yourself, rather than extra stress.
During this time you might:
- experiment or have thoughts about being with someone of the same sex - this doesn't automatically make you gay, lesbian, or bisexual
- experiment or have thoughts of being with someone of the opposite sex - this doesn't necessarily mean you are heterosexual
Sexual orientation is not the same as being 'in the wrong body'
Sometimes people confuse sexuality with gender and wonder if they should actually 'be' the opposite sex to what they are. Some people feel they should have been born a different sex, and decide to make physical changes to their bodies, because they feel they are 'stuck in the wrong body'. This is knows as being transgender.
It is important to note that being transgender is not the same as being gay or lesbian. If you are attracted to people of the same gender/sex, it does not mean you are transgender. People who are transgender want to be the opposite gender - a male wants to be a female or a female wants to be a male.
Being unsure and confused
If you realise that you really like someone who is the same sex as you, you may feel a whole heap of different thoughts and emotions. You might feel:
- happy
- excited
- confused
- unsure or uncertain
- worried about what's going on.
Everyone is different, and it is normal to feel all (or none) of these feelings - you don't need to work them all out at once.
Things to think about
- There is no rush to define who you are. Over time you will most likely feel more secure and comfortable within yourself. Talking with a counsellor or support service can be a good starting point.
- People often define who they are by what they do, however you don't have to be sexually active to know that you are straight, gay.
- You can engage in sexual activity as part of experimenting with people of the opposite or same sex, and still not be totally sure.
- Being attracted to someone of the same sex might be different to the people around you. However this does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It also does not mean that you need to change or fix anything about you.
- Being attracted to someone of the same sex is only one part of who you are as a person.
- Being who you are as a person is what is important.
Definitions
- Lesbian: Often used to describe females who are attracted to and have romantic feelings for females—also known as homosexual
- Gay: Often used to describe males who are attracted to and have romantic feelings for males—also known as homosexual
- Bisexual: Often used to describe males and females who are attracted to and have romantic feelings for both genders
- Straight: Often used to describe males or females who are attracted to and have romantic feelings for people of the opposite gender only—also known as heterosexual
- Transgender: Is used to describe people whose gender identity is different from the sex assigned to them at birth. They may or may not decide to use hormone therapy and/or surgery. It is also an umbrella term for people who identify as transsexual, crossdressers, intersex, genderqueer, drag queens and drag kings.
- Transsexual: Is a medical and psychiatric term used to describe individuals who want to live, and be accepted, on a full time basis, as the gender opposite or different to their sex at birth.
Talking to someone
If you want to talk to someone about your sexuality, you can phone Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week or use their web or email counselling services.
You can explore your thoughts and feelings, and talk through anything at all. No one will judge you and you can ask as many questions as you like, and gain support towards feeling more secure within yourself.
Who else can help?
More information is available from the Gay and Lesbian Counselling Service in your state or territory (details below) or from the Australian Bisexual Network on (07) 3857 2500 or toll free on 1800 653 223 (outside Brisbane).
Please remember that calls from mobile phones may attract charges, even to 1800 numbers.
Gay and Lesbian Welfare Association (Queensland)
- Phone:
- (07) 3017 1717
- Toll free (rural areas):
- 1800 184 527
- Website:
- http://www.glwa.org.au/
