Respectful relationships

What is respect?

Respect is about valuing people, including people who are different. When you have respect for someone, you feel positive about them and admire or appreciate their actions or behaviour. You can also treat anyone with respect regardless of how you feel about them. This is when you regard someone with consideration and treat them in the way you like to be treated.

Why respectful relationships are important

Everyone has the right to feel safe, to be treated with fairness, to be valued and feel accepted for who they are.

Respectful relationships are important because they:

• contribute to your growth, maturity and sense of self-confidence
• promote healthy self-expression and awareness of yourself and others
• enable you to feel accepted, positive and free to be yourself

Respectful relationships also help you feel:

• safe
• encouraged
• trusted
• comfortable
• that you matter
• ok to be honest and open
• listened to
• equal and treated fairly
• valued
• understood
• accepted

Dealing with differences respectfully

Being in a respectful relationship doesn't mean that you won't have sometimes have differences of opinion or disagreements. In respectful relationships when differences occur they are dealt with in ways that lead to mutual understanding or resolution.

For example, people might disagree with each other, but they can accept and appreciate that it's ok to have different ideas, even when they feel tense or unhappy about things.

Conflict or differences occurring in respectful relationships can be worked out and do not have to damage the relationship. Such difficulties may even create opportunities to understand each other more deeply and result in a stronger bond.

Cultural differences can also mean our ideas on respect are different. It’s important to be sensitive and not too quick to judge. For example, eye contact may represent respect in one culture and disrespect in another, yet this difference may lead to misunderstanding between people. Respectful people will avoid quick judgments and stereotyping. They keep an open mind and are open to learning about diversity.

Learn ways to manage differences in your relationship.

Negotiating needs in respectful relationships

We all have different needs at different times and, in relationships, it helps to give and take in terms of each other's needs. This is the case in all relationships, including friendships, family relationships and partner relationships.

So, how are these needs and differences negotiated in a respectful relationship? Respectful relationships:

• acknowledge and consider everyone's needs
• are flexible about individual choice or participation
• will acknowledge differences and strive to accommodate them

A few things about being respectful:

• it doesn't mean expecting one person to put their needs aside for the other person
• it may mean communicating how you feel and being flexible at times, but it also means being true to yourself
• it is not about trying to change someone but rather striving to understand things from their perspective even if yours is different

Learn how to create respectful relationships.

You can phone Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 about relationships or respect. No problem or concern is too big or too small, so give them a call and have a chat.