Dating

What is dating

Dating means different things to different people. When you are officially ‘dating’ or ‘going out’ with someone it usually means you are in an exclusive romantic relationship—where you and your partner aren’t seeing anyone else.

Online Dating

Dating someone you met online is becoming a popular way of meeting people but there are some important risks to be aware of when you first get in contact with someone online. Not everyone is who they say they are and may be dangerous, so never give out your personal information. If it does come to the point where you decide to meet in person,take a friend with you to make sure it’s safe before you spend time alone with them.

If you are interested in online dating you should know that by law, you need to be at least 18 years old and some websites require you to be 21.

Being in a relationship

Whether you call it dating or going out, and whether your relationship is face-to-face or online, there are some important things that make a healthy and enjoyable relationship:

• open communication
• respect
• trust
• honesty
• equality
• enjoying personal space
• making consensual sexual decisions.

Abusive relationships

When you start dating someone you also need to be aware of some of the warning signs of an abusive relationship because not all relationships will be healthy ones. Dating abuse doesn’t just mean physical abuse—there are lots of different signs of being abusive, including when he/she:

• is constantly checking on you
• lies to you
• won’t let you talk to other guys/girls
• threatens serious consequences for breaking up with them
• loses their temper quickly
• embarrasses you in public
• pressures you to engage in sexual contact
• keeps you away from your friends and family
• looks through your phone
• does anything that makes you feel scared in any way.

If you have any doubts that a person may be abusive, it’s best to trust your instincts and not put yourself at risk.

Find out more about domestic and family violence.

Coping with a break-up

Even though a relationship may have been a positive and healthy one for both you and your partner, not all relationships will last a lifetime. Coming to a point where one or both of you decide it's time to end the relationship can be a difficult decision. Even if you both agree that it is time for the relationship to end, this does not mean that breaking up will be easy or without pain.

Tips to help you get through a breakup:

• surround yourself with good friends
• try not to dwell on 'things'
• talk to someone
• write all the things you didn’t get the chance to say down, or say it to yourself
• try to think about what you might have learnt about yourself after having been in the relationship
• learn how to move forward.

You will have good and bad days, so take one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. It's important to cut yourself some slack after a break up as you will most likely be feeling vulnerable and even a bit fragile emotionally. Let yourself mourn the loss, but remember that the relationship was only one chapter in your life's story—imagine what will come next?

Kids Helpline has loads more information and advice on dating and healthy relationships.

Getting help

If you need to talk to someone you can phone Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, or use their web counselling or email counselling services.